18th Century Physician

Medicine used to be much less advanced. To point that they would give advice like….

You say you have trouble sleeping on account of your friends dying in the civil war?

You Have a mild fever from being out in the cold, eh need opium!

Your wife doesn’t like it when you beat her? She must be insane?

You say you have a fever? Have you tried praying to the “right god”?

Your son is cries after 6 of his 10 siblings died. Have you tried beating him harder?

You say you’re child is coughing uncontrollably as a result of your pipe? 

You need to give him leeches to drive out your sins.

You proved something using factual evidence? No, I like my answer more.

Moonshine is making you blind? Have a bit more beer to offset it.

Your daughter  likes to read you say? We can fix that!

You say your son is Anglecian and you are Presbyterian? That is hypocrisy!

You have a papercut on your big toe? What kind of peg-leg fits your style?