Biden, Foiled By Stairs Again

Unearthed emails reveal White House turned down Biden ship visit after calculating number of steps to be an "Insurmountable Challenge"

Internal White House emails which were leaked on Monday, by FOX News revealed that in 2023 President Joe Biden’s planned visit to the USS Independence was terminated after the vessel was deemed too steep. This was done through measurements of the ship's gangway, narrow decks, multiple ladders, and more which the secret service determined to require an “unpresidential” 42 steps to traverse.

When review of the ship’s layout, it became clear that the visit would demand upwards of 7 steps in succession, which our safety models classify as a ‘medium-level mobility hazard,’” read one email from a staffer. “We have worked hard to maintain the President’s average daily stair count well below the plane incident.

Sources close to the president say that alternate plans were considered prior. One of which included an airlift so the President could directly move onto the ship (via a pulley system), and another potentially considered installing a temporary escalator. However, before any of these proposals were considered the Biden Administration ultimately scrapping the trip in favor of a photo green-screened with a poster of the Independence.

Afterward, aides were reviewing a proposed visit to a local elementary school, pending an assessment of whether the building’s 2 front steps could be replaced with a gentle ramp with at max a 10% incline.