Trump’s Coldplay Moment

In a moment of cinematic scandal that has already been dubbed “CheatGate 2: Flight Logs & Fix You,” former President Donald J. Trump was caught on the jumbotron at a Coldplay concert Saturday night holding what appeared to be the long lost Epstein client list in one hand, and a Diet Coke in the other.

As Coldplay transitioned to their famous hit “Yellow,” the stadium's camera feed panned to a private VIP balcony where Trump, oblivious to the spotlight, was found holding the Epstein List.

The crowd erupted. Not in Coldplay tears—but in collective realization.

“It was just like that cheating couple video,” said a member of the audience. “Except instead of a girlfriend crying, it was democracy.”

When asked about the incident, Trump posted a Truth Social rant:

“FAKE NEWS! That wasn’t the Epstein file; it was a Coldplay setlist! They were trying to CANCEL me with woke lasers and VERY SAD music. Also, Chris Martin is a democrat. Coincidence?! I think not.”

Although, the president also had positive comments on performance.

“ I thoroughly enjoyed the performance of Viva La Vida; It reminds me of JANUARY 6th”